Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Living Intentionally - Forming Authentic Relationships

Since my journey to a simplicity and minimalism, I've really started to work on living intentionally in all aspects of my life. I downsized the amount of items I own, and my relationships with others that don't serve me anymore. I've taken steps to simplify and dispose of those relationships, and now it's time to focus on the ones that truly matter.

To be honest, it isn't something that can happen overnight. I've learned that I need to make sure that I'm always present in the moment with that person I'm connecting with. Also, I need to really listen, with the intention of connecting, and having a true understanding of what the other person is trying to say. I think it's also important to understand the difference between really connecting with someone, and just mindless conversation. I personally am not a fan of small talk, although I use it quite often. I use it because I'm usually in a situation where I am with others I don't always feel connected to, which is mostly at work. I enjoy my job, and the people, but there are only a few co-workers that I care to have a great connection with.

I found the first step was to build a wonderful relationship with myself. I needed to understand what self care looked like and how to make sure that I am the most important person in my world. I feel much more confident, settled, calm and overall happy because I have taken a lot of time to really learn who I am. I needed to start with myself before anyone else. I've always put others before me, and it was my time to take the wheel.

I am now starting to really examine the relationships I have with others and how I can be as authentic and real with them as possible. I've never really thought about my friendships before, and I used to think I was a crappy friend. I was never good about getting back to people, or making plans. I'm now starting to realize it was because I wasn't really connecting with these individuals, and I was trying too hard to make our friendship work. Needless to say, I was mostly indifferent towards my relationship with them, and that is not the way I want to be now.

I now see the error in my ways before, and even though I identify with being a bit of an introvert, I have made connections with others whom I truly feel are supposed to be apart of my life for the long haul. I feel so lucky to have met a few people in my town who I feel I connected to emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. It's changed my perspective on what real connections to others can be like. 

I encourage you to do the same; to take the time to understand what you need from other people, and to not pair yourself with others who do not meet your needs. It's an incredibly fantastic feeling, and I couldn't be happier on this journey.